Dreamer

With her...

2008-12-10T00:42:00.000-08:00

I was standing there outside the house, with her. It looked kinda like my neighbours house. She was looking real splendid in a black evening gown with a cut along one side. We walked in and there was a huge party going on and there was at least 100 to 150 ppl in that small area.

We slip towards the bar and have a couple of drinks and joined the huge mass of ppl. We lost sight of each other in the crowd a couple of times but finally found each other soon. I was getting exhausted and went out for a breather to the balcony. That's where I saw a bizarre thing going on. There were guys on bicycle and they stood with them on the railings and jumped off. When my curiosity overcame my shock I went over to check what was happening. I looked over the railing expecting to see a few mangled bicycles and bodies. What I saw was even bizarre. When these guys jump off they actually pedal quite fast and they actually managed to grip the wall and are able ride the wall. Oh and this is also when I realise that even though i had climbed only one flight of stairs and never went near the elevator, I was abt 18 to 20 floors above the ground.

Feeling much better I went inside to find her and tell her tht I want her in my life and you know,all that stuff. Thats when she stumbles on to me and she looked pretty tired. There were tiny beads of sweat on her face and neck and I swear, I made her look all glittery. She said wanted to lie down for a while, so I led her to a bedroom. Somehow I knew where everything was even though this was the first at this place. I helped her to a huge bed and as I was leaving her, she called out to me and asked whether I could stay with her for a while till she slept off. I know I should have jumped at the offer but I actually found myself thinking about joining the party and letting her go to sleep on her own. Thankfully my mind asked me to stay with her.

I first thought of joining her on the bed, but the last conversation I had with her on the phone suggested that I better not. So I sat down, right next to the bed, on the floor and thts when i realise that I had been wearing a suit all this while, and it matched her gown perfectly. Of course it had to,because she told me later that she was the one who picked it up for me. So as we sit there whispering to each other, I was thinking to myself that even if i won't get tell her how I feel about her and how much I want her, I ll never forget this night.

We talked for long and there she was,lying on her tummy with her legs in air and lovely twinkle in her eyes. Our hands were locked in each other grip and on my left palm she was scibbling with her fingers and all I could wish for at that moment was this to last forever. She realised that I was no longer listening to what she was saying. She smiled and took my palm and rested her cheek on it and went to sleep.

Thats when I wake up realising all that this never happened and probably never will. It had been a long time since I felt this good. So i message her immediatley and told her that I dreamt about her.This was about 3:30 in the afternoon. I didnt want to call her up cos even though she was very polite when I told her that I like her, I knew how uncomfortable she was, so I didnt want to put her in that situation again.
There I was, expecting her reply, guess that was jus a bit too much to ask for. That glow in me got snuffed out again, and I was back to old self again, irritated and impatient. No more foolish thoughts, I promised my self..But hey this is me. I can always break my own promises :)

disclaimer: this is not abt the person most of u ppl think it is...

Second Wind..

2008-08-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well this is the new me. Well this is a fairly recent picture of me.
Been almost 3 three since i have posted anything on my once dear blog. There was a time when i used to rush to the computer centre in my college right after class to put up he post for the day. And it wasnt the common rambling that you see in those new fangled micro-blog thingies. Well I cant also that all I had put was sensible and readable material, but I had fun.

Well this is my second try to rekindle my blog. I hope it stays alive this time.

this is me

2006-12-12T02:15:00.000-08:00

this is me enjoying my hobby

drunk in goa...near death experience :p

2006-12-11T21:49:00.000-08:00

well another thing tht happened during the gap between the posts is the 2nd trip to goa..
man was it fun..
we were put up in a beach hotel and the sea was only abt 100 mts from our rooms..it was perfect..
the 5 days we spent there was kinda fun but everybody was looking forward for the beach party we had planned for the last day.
so as the last day came,everybody was excited,bought lots of bottles and setup everything on the beach and was waiting for the rest to come...finally the drinking started and everybody was enjoying in their own ways.. :P
after all the food got over there was still lots of alcohol left so we decided to catch crabs and bake them using dry palm leaves.
so off we went running after crabs tht were at the max half the size of my palm..so had to catch a lot to be of any significance at all..so there we were a lot of grown up boys running around lik lil kids on a wonderful moonlit beach..it was heaven
after we had caught abt 15 each,the extinction of crabs on tht stretch of beach was confirmed,
we piled them onto palm leaved and baked them on a open fire..
after it was done we wolfed down on them cos all the runnin around had us really famished.
we eating crab meat,crab shell and even sand, not bothered abt wat we were putting in our mouth.enjoying the tiny bits of meat wen ever we could taste them thru all the crap we put in our mouth. :D
then we resumed the drinking and wen one of the guys said he was too drunk to get to his room,i volunteered cos i needed the walk badly...as we were ambling along the beach,jus abt few feet from the place we were partying there was a bottle of scotch tht was from our own stock and somebody had lost it there rite near to us..it was half full( ;) ) so lik in the movies i decided to take a swig directly from the bottle,and remind u tht i was quite drunk..well as the drink went down i felt choked and couldnt take in a breath,i got panicky and was scratching and crawling on the beach for air.
after sometime wen i opened my eyes there guys looking at me stone faced..they were drunk and they thought i was dead.. i had passed out at sometime..and then they picked me up and dumped me in the pool before they put me to bed..it was one of the most scariest moments i had and the most fun too..

theres more to come...

new things tht happened wen i was gone

2006-12-11T21:32:00.000-08:00

the things tht happened after my last post is kinda funny and stupid..
well for the stupid part,this is wat happened..

By 4th yr lots of guys in my class got placed in various companies...
as expected of them,they threw a huge party and booked us a pool and the works..
and as expected of us,we got drunk as much as i could.. :D
cant let anyone down,rite??
well everybody around were drunk and jumping in and out of the pool having a ball of a time.
well after abt my 9th drink of various things ranging from vodka,brandy,whisky and ofcourse the un avoidable "toddy",i was quite stoned.after i had emptied my glass,i decided to take a dip to stop myself from puking and losing my "reputation":P
i dived in and only wen i banged my forehead at the bottom of the pool did i realise it was quite a shallow one.as i came out,my face was covered in blood and the only place tht hurt me was the bridge of my nose.i was a bit scared to tell u the truth,i didnt wanna walk around with a crooked nose.. :P
then ppl around me started pointing at me and gasping thts weni realised there was something more serious than a crooked nose..
the guys pulled me out,took me to a hospital,and laid me down on one the beds in the first aid section..
i was there,lying all oblivious everything around me,smiling at all the nurses walking by giving me a dirty look..
thenthe head nurse strolls in and starts shouting at me and the guys who brought me there..saying tht we should ve been responsible and stuff..but who is,wen there lots of free booze lying around :D

after sometime the doctor came along and examined me and started puttin stiches to my forehead.thts wen the unthinkable happened,i started the puking and thankfully missed the doc by inches,if i hadnt he might ve stuck tht needle in to my scalp..
well finally thanks to me,the party got cut short andeverybody was brought to their respective places of stay and puked the shit outta the place..

cant say it wasnt fun,but it was bit too close a call..afteral there was a lot still to do and i was only 20 yrs old..

back again,and again and again..

2006-12-11T21:06:00.001-08:00

when will i ever change...sigh..
been trying to push myself to write a blog for such along time
i even tried forcing myself to start by putting in a "teaser",but to no avail
guess i m too clever for even me. :P

hmmm..where do i start..
welll the last (proper) post was way back in college..and i believe it was in my 3 rd yr..
well as usual there was the usual ranting and fuss,and all tht crap to jus get me to write a post,and to tell u the truth,tht was the one i loved the most..
hope i havent lost the touch..

now its a yr and half since my last one..
and since i ve a blog counter which keeps tracks of all the visits to this humble blog of mine,i started to notice a funny thing.
all the visits were reffered from Google and tht too for search words lik "St.Treasa's+nude" "Tamil rap+nude".
the total number of visists i got lik tht was 56..i mean,who searches for those kinda sick keywords man..sheesh

i hope u,reader,isnt one of those freaks

long time...

2006-05-12T10:31:00.000-07:00

used to write blog long time back..been a yr i think..
and songs were mostly written wen i ve smoked the 4th cig at a stretch and theres nobody around to disturb me..but tht too was long time back..i ve tried writtin wen i m drunk..but there was one single prob..i couldnt read wat i had written the previous nite..all those wonderful words and rhymes lost forever :( and yea once i ve even puked on the paer i had written..but no gr8 loss,as it was anyways illegible :D

dont know wat to write..guess i lost the touch..sigh..hope it gets back within a few days..like swimming(u never forget how to,rite?)

once i get back to the full swing..will be back to fill the page wit total bull shit... :D

2005-07-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

HAS anyone noticed the number of comments the girls on blogger get
We guys struggle to get comments about the shit i write
i ve had to ask people to write comments
I know its stupid but what can i do
i ve like 10 to 11 posts without a single fucking comment
i aint complainin but i had to say this
All u suckers out there,out to pick up a girl, for once post a sensible meaningful comment

Hey wait why did i write this stuff here
Hardly anyone will see it
But see if i give a fuck

I AM CrAzy

2005-07-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

I dont think i ll post this in my blog................

Here I am again,too many sleepless nights aint doin me much good
Got to do something to stop this.
Well the time is 2:30 am and i aint very happy about the fact that I'm wide awake
Another problem i have,when I write stuff late night, is that i tend to repeat certain things
Its all in the hope that the reader gets the right idea of what I m trying to say

Catching up on the old Linkin Park songs
Can still remember how i used to die for their music
They were brilliant
Eventhough it hasnt been long since they ve come ,i feel nostalgic listening to this stuff
Reminds me a lot of my ex-crush (current pal)
This what i suggested as a topic when i called her for the first time
It was kind of a stupid and akward situation
Will write about later,much later.Anyways there aint much to say and it may bore the hell out of you.
Woundnt want to lose my precious little readership.

Man i really suck at blogging
But i guess thats wat keeps me going
I love to see those around me suffer >))

I ve decided not to marry (if the conditions are good)
Marriage i think is a waste of money
U can have all the companionship without marrying;cant you?

Now, the sentence at the top is what keeps me writing all this stuff
Its kind of me trying to beat myself
But sometimes I m too good for myself and do manage to escape from the task of writing a blog entry
Half of me wants to post a blog irrespective of the content and the other half is more of a scrutiniser,a stickler for details
Its fun to watch the outcome of the battle (eventhough i already know which half is gonna prevail; crazy aint it?)
Well i guess thats the fun of being me
I am easily amused
Time slotted for boredome is almost nonexistent
I never am free ,I always have some kind of crazy thought going on
Though I m sad to admit that harldy any of that time can be put for something classified as useful by others
Those are the situations that drive me to boredome

When i happen to travel with girls i know i tend to go very quite
All i want to and am doing is just enjoy sitting with her
I dont need talk at all but am willing to hear out anything
But this kind of appreciation of human company is usually misunderstood
It usually ends up pointing that I m a very boring guy
Its not that i m denying it but......i dont know
i guess i m boring
Heck i dont give a fuck
Its who i am and who i ll be
i love being me
so many beautiful people around who deserve to be looked at all day

Ofcourse i am partial,cos theres one face i'd rather see than all the riches in the world

Its one of the most wonderful faces i ve ever seen
But the problem is that i get shy when i look at that face
It doesnt deseve to see a common fcae like mine
It needs another face as its mate
Each should complement the other

The face has me thinking about it all day
It dominates most of my sane dreams and all of my insane ones
Just being there with it in a big green pasture fills me up

You may classify me as a stupid,neurotic,zany guy...........IF(and only if) U VE READ WHAT I VE WRITTEN ABOVE!!!!!
Ortherwise pls refrain urself from doing anything supid.......leave that to me

FOUNDATION SERIES

2005-06-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

The time is almost 4:00am and i aint sleepy at all.
Ofcourse i did sleep all afternoon and evening,but lets ignore that here.
Lets say i have a severe case of insomnia,and that i havent slept for days.

Well what i was trying to say was, its time for another blog.

I read sci-fi but not as much as some of my buddies in coll.
What books they have read i havent and vice versa.
So my choice of authors were considered to be......lets say outlandish (though i do read asimov)
I guess its partly true,cos where ever i have had a sci-fi discussion with anybody,the books i have read are the more obscure ones.
Actually i find them more entertaining than asimov or sorts (nothing against them,its just that they r cliche).
The obscure ones arent afraid to experiment with anything, ofcourse u cant expect the best books from them but there r quite a few good ones.

Well with this sort of thing happening all the time i thought i'd try out an established author ; in this case a well established series if u may. 'The foundation series'.
Wat made me do this was that i happened to stumble upon the fourth book to the series and it looked interesting and havin heard a lot about it, thought i 'd try it out.
Its very dissapointing to say that i hardly got past pg 13. Total rubbish is all i can say. I didnt feel like reading it.I encourages you to put down the book and do something worthwhile like helping your mother with her chores. This felt much more satisfying. This is exactly what a book shoulnt do.
Maybe skipping the first three books of the series might have also "helped" me come to this desicion(i hope its spelled right).

Well as a concluding statement; i'd like somebody, who reads this blog, to donate the first three books,so that i may not desecrate asimov anymore.
(before u consider me a totally hopeless case i would also like to state that i loved his 'I,robot' and has hated what they have done in the movie.)

*And sorry to all those who may have been mislead into readin this blog cos of the title given*

DREAMS

2005-06-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hey have ever had a dream that u think u can control and found urself impossibly lost in it.
Well those are the kind of dreams i have been having lately ,and it aint fun.
For example last night i was having a totally normal dream about nothing in particular (actually i cant remember) and then, i somehow find myself in a building.
At first it was fun tryin to figure out a way out of the building ,cos each door in the building opens up to a new room filled with some kind of "splendor", but after a while i realise i m lost.
I cant find a way out of the freakin buildin and next thing i know i m panicking ; when that happens i suddenly wake up still worried about findin an exit to the blessed building and a hell lot tired.
I usually go to sleep determined to find an exit to the building,but that never happens cos when ever I knowingly try to dream about it, it never comes. It always occurs in dreams u least expect.

A similar kind of dream that i had some time back was this;
I find myself in some college and i have a boombox in my left hand and huge camera in my right.
At first I am all alone in the building (no this aint a stuck-in-a-building dream, read on) then i see a few people my own age walkin around (oh yeah hot chicks).
I start talkin to them and figure out that I m studyin for some kind of videography course and that I have a test today.
I do realise that I am in a dream so I walk in confidently to take the test.
as I settle down in my seat, I find that I cant find a single clean sheet of paper in my book to write the test and so I go around asking people for paper and no one seems to have any.
The dream could have ended happily or something else could have happened but all i do in the rest of the dream go around asking for paper.

And saddest part of all this is that i know I m dreamin the whole time.
Maybe that is what triggers these kinds of dreams.

Do u think i might be losing it?
Am i worrying unnecessarily?
Do i have to find a solution to these dreams? Could they have some kind of inner meaning?
Do dreams play an important part in shaping a human being?
If so are any dreams that can be specified to develop any certain kind traits in homo sapiens?
What if my pets start having these kind of dreams?Wait, do cats and dream?At all?
And most importantly...........when am i going to stop asking these stupid questions?

i thought i'd write this entry with the proper punctuations and spellings and stuff
And please, do not critisise the errors (both gramattical and sppelling) cos they half been included for ur entertainment.

After all, who likes an all-perfect entry,eh?

I AM GOD, I AM DREAMER

2005-06-20T00:29:00.000-07:00

Well heres another blog to victimise all u out there caught in the web

ve u ever wondered if wat we call life is just a dream
u know the kind of feelin tht u r a deep sleep and wat u r livin is just a halluicination,a dream tht u can never wake up from
wat if u learned to control how and wat u dream
the possibilities r limitless
u can make ur self the strongest ,the wittiest ,the tallest ,the smallest ,the most charming ,or wat ever fancies u
u can make ur self the leader of the "free world"
u can invent a cure for aids(a bit too ambitious,but possible)
hey u can even make ur self fly
u can even imagine up new creatures, aliens ,anything u want
as i said earlier the possibilities r endless

BUT wat if all this,wat we know ,wat we hear, see, smell; all of this is wat i ve imagined
wat if others in this same state of "slumber" has a different conception of how the world is
wat if its in my dream that US is the super power and the earth ,the planets the stars and even the universe as we know is just my imagination
its because i imagined it to be tht way,
doesnt tht in a way make me GOD
it sure is an empowering thought

the animals look lik they r because i ve imagined it tht way
maybe somebody else has a totally diff idea of how animals should

wait if thts the situation its me who created such great works of art ,music ,literature...........
its me who built the great monuments,the seven wonders
it is i who am responsible for all the dicoveries and inventions
for internet
for communication
for bloggin

whoa.......

man i feel great
if only it were true

once u start thinkin of it tht way it can prove to be quite dangerous under certain circumstances
u could be termed as anarchic
a rebel
a screwball

i mcant write anymore on this
this is too overwhelmin
this shit is too deep for me
should ve these thoughts when havin pot or somethin
then it ll do u some good
oh and it ll ensure tht extra kick u ve always been earnin for

well try to keep to this to urself
imagination can be quite a dangerous thing in the wrong hands

like GnR said, "Use ur illusion"

Spell Czech

2005-06-13T20:19:00.000-07:00

The spell czech

Eye halve a spelling chequer.It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it to say
Weather eye am wrong oar write. It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,it nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite. Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it,I am sure your pleased two no.
Its letter perfect in it's weigh. My chequer tolled me sew

Bad joke

2005-06-11T02:54:00.000-07:00

Squirell to a shrink
"When I learned, 'You are what you eat' , I realised i was nuts.

Freaky Rap

2005-06-11T02:30:00.000-07:00

whoa.........the coolest thing ever (or the freakiest,which ever way u look at it)
just heard a tamil rap song
though i dont know tamil i understood that the theme was about wife beatin
they ve done it quite well actually
they ve everything u see in usual rap videos
money everywhere,expensive cars,lots of bling-bling, girls........wait, hey there were no half naked girls in the video. Wat were they thinkin wen they made this video. How do they expect to sell that stuff without even a single girl baring 3/4ths of her breast.Anyways my best wishes to them.

while on the topic of breasts and clothes,why do women wear clothes that are a sorry excuse of a dress and complain of us guys oglin at their "chests"
why bother wearin one of those wen u can go topless

man i m bored out of my mind out here
been home from coll for about a week and i m already "college-sick"
i cant find anything very interestin to think about it and my coll is a real garbage heap, but i still miss it.Dont know why

was at st.treasas' last day and boy was i glad
i should say, the girls out there really blew my mind out
it was lik a little mumbai in there
the chit chat ,the dressing (oh yes the dressing,never thought i'd see anything lik this in kerala)
the coll wasnt lik this wen my cus was studyin there.Of course it was way ahead of its time even then but still things have changed a lot.

have a date tom
dont know wat i m gonna wear
have to start selecting today itself otherwise i ll be in a fix tom
u see theres a peculiar problem with me
i take a lot of time to decide on wat to wear
usually guys are known to dress quickly and without much fuss
but with me it is a long process
by the time i'm all ready i would ve tried on atleast 10 shirts and no fewer than 5 jeans,tryin out all combinations
i know its weird but i cant help it
i even take time to decide on wat i m gonna wear wen i go to gym
its quite understandble wen there r girls comin to work out but this is a guys only gym
may be i m bit too conscious of the people who i see on the road
i sometimes hate myself self for goin through the tiresome process of dressin up
most of the time i end up goin out with the same combination of clothes

i hope i dont marry a girl who takes as much time as me to dress up,otherwise we'd never get anywhere

man my language sucks
i'm on a downhill path to oblivion on a cart with no brakes

huh... wat the fuck was tht, man i'm goin nuts here

Aint no clue

2005-05-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

Never felt this alone before
This aint ALL right
Anywaysi guess this is wat i get for being so fucked up
It was never meant to be like this

The feelin i 've is gettin worse
For easons unknown to me
I know the lyrics suck
But i must do i do do
Cos this is all that is ocuuring to me

I thought u would ve understood me by now
But i was wrong there too
U still confused when we chill
Not that i understand anymore of u
But do believe me girl i 'm tryin my best

Even wen i sit down beside u
All the world feels strange still
Is it me or is it u
It wasnt always lik this girl
u really got my head spinnin this time

Man wat the fuck am i doin
Not a single word rhyme with
Anyother word in the whole fuckin song
That i m tryin to stick togrther here

I guess i should ve stuck to writin u a letter
But guess wt girl
Watever this shit turns out to be
This is for u
Try deny it
And i ll be riddin ur ass up the frickin wall
Cos too much works' gone in to this shit
Anyways i gotta stop before this heap gets anyworse

The sun dont shine

2005-04-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

you have been thru too much for me
How in the world do i make it up to u
Lets get down on the floor and let me do what i do best
Let my tounge run everywhere
Everywhere the sun dont shine
I know u like that
U can never ever deny that, girl
So what are we waiting for
Lets get it on

All the peace in the world is worthless
Without you by my side
You complete my circle
My circle of life
Without u , me am a hole
That needs filling with
Something like u

Good things in life aint free

2005-04-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

You have been by my side
All along(thru) my life
I dont know what i'd do
WIthout you by my side

You are my suppourt
Through all of my insecurities
I'd be lost without u ,I'd be lost
(you know that)

You know that I cant do without u,then why do u
keep doing the the things that hurt me most
Knowing that it will crumble my life

When u leave,I start from scratch to build up my world
From the ruins of the temple i built for u,in my heart
Hoping that one day u'd return
To be all mine,and mine only

Taming the beast

2005-04-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

The anger that rages inside of me
Can never be tamed
I dont want it to be tamed
And dont you dare try tame it
Cos burn your fingers is all you'll do

When you look deep inside of me
You'll see a face that you've never seen in me
Fighting all the insecurities inside of me
Striving to hold me afloat,for another day

War-Peace process,we got no hope in
Negotiations has got me rotations
Cos we getting no where,no place,no time
All this killing gotta stop
And you are the one to do it
Cos you are the only one who can
Turn this world around
And eventually kill the beast in me

Restrictions

2005-04-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

Here i sit watching my life waste away
My soul looking out he window earning to get away

But these restrictions that hold me back
Cut me some slack dawg

You aint going anywhere bitch
I'll see that u burn in hell
For all the motherfucking low downs
You have put me thru to put my life down(drag me down)

Preacher

2005-04-29T11:07:00.000-07:00

We have fuckers in the world
Who walk around preaching the word
Telling us to be modest and what do they do
Do they pratice what they preach
No they dont
All they do is get rich off the fucking money
We send 'these hoes' ('em)

All the money we send 'em
Makes them fucking greedy
And only color they see is mother fucking green

Life

2005-04-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

This journey called life
Teaches u a lot of things
'Bout people ,places
And especially about urself
The way u use this knowledge
Makes u either good or bad
So here we go:

Have u ever looked back on ur life
And seen it in ruins
Of cosequences both known and unknown
Outcome of what u have done and others have done unto u

Nothing u do can ever set those wrongs right
But u can do something about ur future
Think carefully , use ur brains
Stay out of trouble , thats the game

So now u think i can rhyme
But all i do is put my thoughts in to words
with my trusty pen
Onto a scroll , that is life

Darkness and light

2005-04-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

All the darkness that surrounds me
Keeps me cosy
Keeps me from gowing up
And makes me run around in circles
Cant shake the feeling that i'm lost

Then you come ,with your light shining
You brighten up my life
You have given me a reason to wake up
And all of the negativity has left inside of me

With your light shining
i see where i'm headed to
Keeps me from tripping over the mistakes
That got my life down in the first place

But then you drive me crazy with your light
It disrupts my peace with the dark side
I love life when everything is dark
Keeps you from seeing the suffering all around u

You've thrown your light in the wrong place
The place i've been trying to hide
From the peering eyes of those around me
From those who pretend be your homie
And stick to u until the life in you is sucked dry

The dreamer

2005-02-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

This is my first time at bloggin so hope it goes well

i am the ultimate dreamer of the world
there aint nobody to interject me
if there is ,send'em up
and i ll personally see to it tht they get wat they deserve

peace out

wait this aint going to work
got to think somethin
lets see....sports?movies?travel?music?
yeah thts it music
now we have somethuin goin on
let this party rock

so moi will be back with songs and lots of it
chiao